Steps to Mastering Pillow Talk
When you’re in that “do it so the neighbors can hear you” phase early on, it’s easy to let yourself go and be your lusty self, tapping into the raw part of your sexuality that you don’t get to express anywhere else.
And then there’s the reality that relationships are designed for us to settle into a more comfortable, secure place. And that pushes the animalistic aspects out of the way.
In the beginning we always like to think that in a relationship it’s all spontaneous, but it’s really not.
Think about all the anticipation and the buildup when you’re going out on the weekend with someone you’re just starting to see. You’re thinking about it all week, every hour…nearly every minute even.
BUT, When you see each other all the time, you don’t get that level of excitement, so you have to create it.
Talking dirty and pillow talk also requires buildup. It requires desire. It requires anticipation.
So many tell us not to worry, the words will come to us naturally…but is that a reality? Do we need to practice or research what we might say in the heat of the moment? Or are we satisfied with generic, vanilla pillow talk?
Can you remember a time when in the heat of the moment you uttered something so rugged…so raw…so sensual that you surprised yourself?
It CAN and DOES happen!
Easy Steps to Mastering Pillow Talk
Tips and Ideas for things to say, and topics to share…as soon as the topic is brought up the rest seems to flow.
1. Get your motor humming before bedtime.
Most people expect to get into bed and be immediately turned on. Sadly that doesn’t happen when you’ve been together a long time, especially when you have kids and a house to take care of.
It’s not like all of the sudden you switch on a new gear and become this sex goddess.
What is the best way to turn into that sex goddess at bedtime?
Start revving your and his engine early in the day. Leave him a sexy text that sparks his animal instincts…There are plenty of those here.
The message doesn’t even have to be very racey to have the desired effect.
The biggest thing is to keep the element of surprise and mystery alive. It doesn’t have to be extreme like when you first met, it just has to be there.
2. Read some Erotic stories, raunchy romance novels, or Erotica.
A good steamy blood pumping exciting story just has a way of putting your mind and your desires in the right direction. Reading a good story serves two purposes.
First, it helps heat you up.
Second, erotica is a terrific resource for things to say if you freeze up when your partner craves some stimulating conversation. Nobody ever said everything you say has to be 100% original…it just has to be “your” words and sentiment.
So if you happen across a really out there exciting story, tell your partner about it and let the conversation lead you to imagine that the two of you are the main characters!
You can find plenty of these type stories online for free…
www.GoodVibes.com has an excellent selection of erotic stories.
3. Relive and Describe your past most Erotic Moments.
Playing “Remember when…”
Your previous sexcapades – the time you got busy in the backseat of a cab or in the basement of your parents house – is another excellent source of readymade sexy material.
It can be even better than a book… because it happened to you!
Reminiscing about earlier sexy episodes removes the burden of coming up with something erotic on the spot.
4. Shower your partner with heartfelt compliments.
When you’re really at a loss for words, complimenting just about anything about your partner – their sensuous lips, the feel of his chest, the way her nails make the hairs on your back stand up – eliminates the pressure to be creative.
Or simply comment on the action: “The way you ____ drives me wild” will undoubtedly be well received.
The more specific you can be the better…like the way you kiss me down there is always a surprise…I just can’t take the anticipation of what you’re going to do next!
5. Talk about each others fantasies – You should always go first so be ready!
This could be categorized “advanced sexy talk” for when you get more comfortable with a more free flowing sexy / dirty talk experience.
Narrate a scenario that hasn’t happened (yet), but that you might like to happen. Maybe he could be the pizza delivery man, or the EMT from the ambulance or she could be the prostitute, school teacher or librarian.
Exploring fantasies allows you to say and do things you would never do in real life and more importantly can be the basis for some really HOT memories!
On a more intimate level, it’s showing a side of yourself sexually that is common knowledge, that can make you feel vulnerable. But when your partner likes it and reciprocates…then the two of you just found a new level of intimacy.
How Sexually Adventurous Are You?
Some women prefer their sex straightforward and simple. Others aren’t happy unless they’re swinging from the ceiling.
Just how sexually adventurous are you?